Two Cities, One Writer

After several years of staying at home, Wordplay has started venturing out into the world again. Last year, I dipped my toes in the water at the PCA/ACA conference in San Antonio. On Sunday, I returned home after attending this year’s PCA in Chicago and then taking the train to Seattle for my first vacation in 12 years. I used to love traveling, but like so many other things, it got to the point where it was no longer fun, around the time I was working on my dissertation (that is to say, 2010-2012). After that, I could no longer afford to travel, even if I had wanted to, and then it was COVID, and then it was settling into a new apartment with other priorities than spending money on trips, and then it was, honestly, a bit of inertia.

Last year, though, I started to shake off my dormancy and felt the travel bug beginning to bite. The San Antonio conference was both something I wanted to do for professional reasons and also a travel experiment. I wanted to find out what it’s like to travel post-pandemic and post- so many other things that have left their mark on us as individuals and as a society. Six days away from home would surely be tolerable, even if the conference didn’t go well. The conference was an experiment in itself, since my previous PCA experience had been a mixed one. The San Antonio conference was a little surreal, but positive enough overall that I surprised myself by deciding to go back this year, to PCA Chicago.

I had a couple of things going for me this time, which is that my budget wasn’t as bare bones as it was when I was last in Chicago for the PCA and also that I had some previous knowledge of the place. I could afford a splurge here and there. I had some things in mind that I wanted to do, restaurants I wanted to try. I could do some “fun” things and explore a little bit. And that’s what I did. 

I hit the ground running and got some sightseeing in even before checking into my hotel. I found a coffee spot I liked. I got a general sense of direction. Over the next several days, when I wasn’t in sessions at the conference, I sampled Chicago food, went on a couple of organized tours, and without really trying, starting getting the pulse of the place. I have to say, I enjoyed myself. With one or two exceptions, I felt that I was treated well. Chicago is a tough city, no question. But I went with an open mind and genuine wish to get to know a little of the place, and I feel that I did, at least a little. For the Chicagoans I encountered in restaurants and coffee shops, at the hotel and the train station, in the stores and out on the streets, I have nothing but respect. If you’re keeping your head above water in Chicago, that’s definitely saying something about you.

On the train going west, I cured my curiosity about what the upper Midwest and Plains states look like west of Minneapolis, the former limit to my experience. It looked like a lot of rolling fields, with occasional towns, patches of snow, some cows, and horses, until the train reached Glacier National Park and all hell broke loose with snow-capped peaks and deep forests all around. The drama subsided until the train traversed the Cascade Mountains in Washington, an even bigger extravaganza of gorgeous views. And so, at the end, Seattle, where I learned a great lesson about thinking you know where you’re going by observing street signs from a moving train. (It ended with me getting completely turned around after leaving the station, which wouldn’t have been a problem if I’d been planning to walk to Portland.)

Seattle is one of the last places I remembered having fun, on the other occasion I’d been there, in 2011. I was coming down from some pretty dramatic effects of PTSD but still had kind of a fearless attitude toward most situations (which I found to be a very refreshing way to approach life, BTW). This time, I wanted to see if Seattle still struck me the way it did then. Back then, it had a wonderful spirit of dynamic creativity, evident in abundant public art, bold architecture, cool neighborhoods, quirky shops, and the general feeling of ease I had in walking around, not to mention all the natural beauty that surrounds and supports it. I had heard that it, like most other places across America, has seen an increase in crime over the last few years. Evidently, some people dispute whether cities are actually more dangerous now than they were, say, 10 years ago, but a quick read of the newspaper, even in my city of Lexington, certainly gives the impression of a rather sharp increase in violent crime over what would have been considered “normal” 5-10 years ago.

I did find Seattle changed. There is a meanness one encounters here and there, on the streets and elsewhere, that seemed to be almost completely absent on my last visit. It’s true that I stayed in an Airbnb on my first visit, with a charming hostess who lived in an edgy but cool sort of post-industrial neighborhood on the outskirts, the kind of place the average tourist would leave town without ever knowing about. Its drawback was its remoteness, so I wanted to stay closer to the center of things this time. Once I got to Pike Place Market, I was able to find a cafe in which to regroup. But I was rather discouraged with the changes I could already sense on the streets. There was no need to travel to the other side of the country to sample incivility as I can find that here if I want to. I went to Seattle for something different.

Once I got to my hotel and settled in, I started to feel a little better, though that changed when I went out to dinner my first night in town. Although there were plenty of places I could have been seated, I was shown to a table with a high stool, so that I felt I was towering over everyone else. (Come on y’all, you know that a solo diner doesn’t want to be that conspicuous, surely.) I asked to move to a regular table after noticing that the place was half empty, and while the food was delicious, my enjoyment of the evening was rather spoiled.

I’m not sure I ever quite got over the feeling that civility in Seattle is not what it once was. The physical reality of the streets has also changed: they were dirtier and rougher than my memory of them, not only in downtown proper, but in Belltown, South Lake Union, and Capitol Hill. Admittedly, I was only in Capitol Hill for the Elliott Bay Book Company last time, when I walked up from downtown. I didn’t ramble around the neighborhood, as I did this time. In my memory, though, it was a thriving area, not as trash-strewn as it is in 2024. I wouldn’t call the neighborhood blighted, as there are plenty of cafes, shops, and nightspots, and the neighborhood is considered a hip destination for nightlife, but it did appear somewhat the worse for wear.

I would have thought that this is simply the result of an imperfect memory, except that some of the other places I went to seemed just as I remembered them. I was dismayed to see that the area on lower 2nd Avenue, in Belltown, did appear blighted, once I made my way there to visit a restaurant where I had dined on my first night in town in 2011. I almost turned around and went back as the street became visibly grittier and only continued because I had good memories of the restaurant and knew it was still there. I had a lovely meal there this time, too, but was sure I remembered a more prosperous neighborhood in the past. Of course, this isn’t that surprising: places change. It was sad, though.

This isn’t to say I didn’t enjoy myself in Seattle. I didn’t have a bad meal the entire time I was there, and most of the food was phenomenal. Likewise, the coffee. I got lost walking around and had to remind myself that getting lost sometimes leads to finding things you wouldn’t see otherwise. I estimate that I walked 35-40 miles while there. I didn’t find Seattle-ites to be snobby, as they’re sometimes reputed to be. There were friendly people (more of these), and uncivil people, and a pervasive feeling of Whatever Has Happened to the Rest of Our Country has happened to Seattle, too.

My best moments were spent either enjoying great food or great coffee, sometimes gazing out a window at a great view. I didn’t find the coffeehouse atmosphere I was really looking for until my last full day, when I discovered a cafe with an industrial-punk vibe that broadcast KEXP live. I will say this: I forgot for entire swaths of time that I was carrying an AARP card in my wallet. No one called me “ma’am.” The discovery that I could still climb Queen Anne Hill with the same amount of energy I had 13 years ago (and not once but twice) was gratifying. I was cautious about going out at night, but I wasn’t on the retired nuns tour of Seattle and didn’t want to leave town without experiencing a little nightlife, so I went to a bar in Lower Queen Anne one evening that served food and had an awesome tostada. Also, a Negroni, which I would describe as both sweet and bitter and definitely something I would try again.

If I had to sum up my impression of Seattle in 2024, I would say that it almost appeared like a city under siege of some kind. Its essence still shines through, but like other places I’ve been, it shows evidence of beleuguerment. Every place has its source of strength, though. For Chicago, if I had to guess, I’d say it’s the day-to-day struggle of surviving in a tough environment, amid all those huge buildings. For Seattle, it might be the spirit of the Native Americans who lived in the area before the arrival of the pioneers. I noticed signs in different places stating that the lands on which various modern buildings are standing have never been ceded by the indigenous Salish people. I think their presence still permeates everything in Seattle. When I think of my visit, it’s the sound of the gulls’ cries that makes the soundtrack, and I don’t think it’s that far a step from there to the anarchic energy of the music scene, to Jimi Hendrix and Nirvana and all the rest.

Listening to the Road

This week, I finished Neil Gaiman's novel, American Gods, which I decided to re-read after a recent conversation with a friend about some of my travel experiences out west. In particular, I was trying to describe the oddly discomfiting experience of driving east on I-80 through Wyoming. She mentioned a friend who'd had a similar experience once, and the conversation then shifted to Mr. Gaiman's book, in which the main character undergoes many peculiar adventures in a series of road trips. One of the novel's conceits is that roadside attractions in America often disguise places of ancient power, places where people feel compelled to stop without knowing why.

In my case, the drive through Wyoming, a harsh landscape with (to my Eastern eyes, anyway) remarkably few people, was punctuated by road signs referring to a place called Little America, which seemed to be the Western version of Stuckey's, those gift shops (famous for peanut brittle) one used to encounter off the interstate on trips to Florida. I couldn't quite make out what Little America was known for, though it seemed to be a kind of inn. It may have been a trick of the winter light or tired eyes, but all the signs I saw were a bit on the oafish side, as if the advertising agency had a strange sense of humor. I later read on someone's blog that Little America is known for ice cream, admittedly not a big draw in winter.

When at last I came up to Little America, it was on the opposite side of the road, and--as happened frequently on my trip across Wyoming--there wasn't a person in sight, just a sort of sprawling building. I hurried past it, but that wasn't the only time that day that I passed some small town or other and wondered, "Where are all the people?" Often, these tiny burgs had the look of ghost towns or movie sets, a phenomenon that persisted across much of Colorado and Kansas. I stayed on the road rather than spend the night in any of these places--so I actually had the opposite experience from the tourists in Mr. Gaiman's book.

I wasn't really sure re-reading American Gods would give me insight into my experience, but I was mildly curious to see what Mr. Gaiman made of the American road trip. It's been many years since I first read American Gods, and I didn't remember it well. As it turns out, the book I read this time was not even the same book, not entirely, since Mr. Gaiman put out a revised author's preferred edition some time ago, and that's the one the library had. I'm not even sure where the differences are, though the preface mentions that the preferred edition is longer than the original. The experience of revisiting a familiar book after a long period of time to find it utterly changed is compounded in this case by the fact that the text actually has changed. So, that's one thing.

I remembered American Gods as being offbeat and strange but humorous; this time I found it much less funny. When I first read it, I hadn't yet made a formal study of mythology but was interested in any story that incorporated mythological characters. Mythology is quite trendy these days, but when I first read the book there didn't seem to be that many people doing it, or doing it well; I found American Gods to be wildly imaginative and original. I still think that, though I am somewhat surprised not to have realized back then that the genre of the book isn't really fantasy but rather horror. It's one of those stories that are hard to categorize, and I believe it has won major awards in several categories, but still--it's a horror story more than it's anything else.

The novel is complex and sprawling, with a large number of characters, and Mr. Gaiman seems to be doing several things at once. The protagonist, a man named Shadow, becomes entangled in the plot of a character called Wednesday (actually a god) to round up all the old gods of culture and religion, living in American under assumed names and disguises, for an epic confrontation with the new gods of media and technology. His ostensible purpose is not his true one, and Shadow realizes this in time to foil Wednesday's ultimate design, though his own life has in the meantime completely unraveled--due, it turns out, to Wednesday's machinations.

Much is made in the novel about America being "a bad place for gods," which is not perhaps surprising, since most of the gods in the story are transplants from other cultures, arriving here in the minds and hearts of immigrants from those lands and trying to make a go of it on foreign soil. One implication seems to be that American culture is too shallow to support them, that Americans are too taken up by television, pop culture, and other diversions to give proper consideration to the sacred. While recognizing that pervasive materialism is a fact of American life (though not the only fact), I'm much less convinced this time around that most of these gods deserve any pity. Their main raison d'etre is a constant need for attention and adoration, which becomes the excuse for all kinds of bloody-mindedness and cruelty. If we're supposed to think it's a tragedy that they've been diminished, I must say I came away with the opposite feeling.

Shadow is a curious kind of a hero. Though he ostensibly saves the day by averting the war between the old gods and the new, he takes the ruin of his own life with much less bitterness than you might expect. It's not clear in the end that he himself is still human . . . he seems to have gone at least partially over to the other side. He solves the mystery of what has been happening over the years to the children who have disappeared from the small Wisconsin town he settles in and in the process reveals the crusty town father to be just another murderous divinity in disguise. After so much death and destruction at the hands of these folks, you might think Shadow would be delighted to get away from them for good, but it's not entirely clear that he feels that way. It's a bit like Chaucer's narrator disavowing, at the very end, all the bawdy stories he's repeated in The Canterbury Tales. You suspect him of being disingenuous.

The name "Shadow" could be taken as an indicator that the character, largely unconscious of what is happening around him in the beginning, is much less so by the end of the story. It might be going too far to say that he's an "Everyman," standing in for the average American consumer who lives in a shallow, material world and grows in consciousness by getting in touch with the ancient powers both around him and within him--but there are some indications that this is the point. It's less clear what Shadow has actually accomplished. There are many images of suffering and death in the book, and much gruesomeness, and it all seems rather gratuitous after a while. I finished the book with the feeling that I had something on the bottom of my shoe that needed to be scraped off.

Mr. Gaiman mentions some roadside attractions that are apparently quite real, though Little America isn't one of them. There is a scene in which some mysterious characters temporarily imprison Shadow in a cell until he is freed by his wife, who's been turned into a zombie (don't ask if you don't want to know). When he escapes, he realizes he's been on a train parked in a remote area. Coincidentally, I noticed a freight train out in the wilds of Wyoming, the only thing moving in the whole landscape aside from the vehicles on the interstate, and wondered where it was going in all that remoteness. It might have been the train to nowhere and would easily have fit into Mr. Gaiman's story. The bleakness that adheres to many of Mr. Gaiman's locales matched what I saw through my car window, though I suspect my experience might have been different under different circumstances. If I ever revisit that area, I may try a Native American blessing--maybe that would frame things differently.

Next time I'm trying to put my own travels in perspective, I'll have to remember not to turn to a horror story. Things are bad enough without that. I feel sure there are other narratives out there, other ways to look at the land that neither sugarcoat the past or excuse it but allow us to see it for itself. If Mr. Gaiman's book is a map of a certain kind of journey, I feel sure it's not the only one available. It certainly isn't one I want to take.