Think I'm Kidding? (Alas--No)

Dear ----,

I received your phone message regarding my response to this month's ---- event. I thought it might be easiest to forward the email I previously sent to ---- and ---- containing the complaint I mentioned to you. ---- responded that, with my permission, he would share the email with ---- and ----, but since you're the head of ---- and say you hadn't heard about it, I think I ought to inform you myself.

My complaint against ---- is, I realize, a serious one. As I told ----, I was at the point of dismissing the problem I had with her at school after our coursework was finished and some time had gone by. That might have been the end of it, except that in 2011, I did quite a bit of traveling and thought I saw ---- several times, though her hair was dyed. The first time it happened was when I attended the ---- event in ---- and thought I spotted ---- in both downtown ---- and at the airport as I was leaving. I had done something I normally don't do and posted to Facebook in advance of attending saying that I would be there. I don't think at that point that I was even connected to ---- on Facebook, but the event invitation was probably publicly viewable. ---- is a large event, and it wasn't out of the question for someone from ---- to be there, though it struck me as odd.

Later that summer, I thought I saw ---- again, and I think it was in ---- at a concert. It looked like her, but her hair was different. Still, I believed I must have been mistaken. During the 2011 holidays, I even corresponded with nearly all of my classmates, including ----, getting and receiving cards from many of them, including her. I had no reason to think I was going to see most of them again.

The last time I communicated with ---- was in the spring of 2012 when another classmate emailed those of us who were completing our ---- to ask about attendance at ----. Because of the unsettling experience of the previous summer, combined with the problem I'd had with ---- at school, I ultimately decided not to attend and emailed back saying I wouldn't be there. A couple of classmates, including ----, emailed me and asked why, and I indicated that I'd had peculiar travel experiences.

In the autumn, I drove to ---- from my home in ----; I saw ---- several times during the trip. Her hair was dyed, which altered her appearance, and she didn't acknowledge that she knew me, but I recognized her. This happened in ----, in ----, and in ---- on the way out. I may have seen her on the way back, too, though I'm less certain of that.

I have told a number of people about these strange experiences, and in many cases they dismiss it or don't know what to make of it. I can't, because it happened to me, and what seemed to be a case of harassment only got stranger when I tried to dismiss it. If I'm not mistaken, ---- works with young people as a ----, and I don't think it's appropriate at all for someone with such poor boundaries to be in a position of trust, especially with adolescents (or really, with anyone).

If you have any questions, I'll be glad to answer them. I expected some sort of response after I emailed ----, and simply to get a call from an intern asking if I intended to RSVP for the event after everything I had said in the email was not the response I was expecting. I should add that even after getting your acknowledgment that I was declining to attend, I got yet another call (from yet another intern) asking me for an RSVP. Her tone even suggested a certain amount of surprise that I wasn't interested in being there, from which I derive the reasonable conclusion that my complaint isn't having the proper effect. I hope that ---- takes the safety of its community (and those beyond its community) seriously, because to do otherwise would not only be irresponsible but negligent.

(Abridged version of original complaint follows.)

On ---- 2015, at 11:23 AM, ---- wrote:

I recently received an announcement about an event for ----. I believe a similar event was held last year in conjunction with ----. I didn't attend last year and have no plans to attend this year or in the future, and I thought it important to give you some feedback on my reasons. I place a high value on the academic and intellectual experience I had at ----, which is why I'm taking the time to write to you.

I'm sure that your office does good work in helping graduates. . . . The ---- event may or may not be beneficial to others, but I don't see it as likely to offer any benefit to me as it seems to be more of a "vanity" event. It seems more useful to me to look beyond the ---- community in promoting my writing and thinking.

I have given one professional presentation to a ---- organization but felt that was only a first step. Last year I presented a paper at the ---- conference, which as you know includes scholars from a variety of fields. I believe communicating to a wider audience was actually a more fruitful experience than simply talking to others of a ---- bent. I actually had some correspondence with another presenter after the second conference; nothing of that kind occurred after the ---- presentation or has done so since then, in spite of the fact that I published what I regard as a very good paper in the ---- journal. I've always believed in the interdisciplinary approach, which the ---- program certainly employed. Staying too narrowly focused seems to me unlikely to result in any new thinking.

Lastly, I have to say that the ---- lost most of its credibility for me when I heard about last year's recipient of ----, ----. I consider her character and ethics to be highly questionable, having experienced harassment from her for most of my years at ---- and knowing of an instance in which another student believed she had ----. I was willing to believe after I left ---- that I might have imagined some of what I experienced as a student, but since then I have seen her several times at places she had no business being, to the extent that I now feel I've actually been stalked. I'm sure that doesn't coincide with the image many people at ---- have of her, nor would I have imagined that possible of her when I first met her. I'm really only speaking for myself right now, but I believe others have also had negative experiences with her.

Since she represents ----, I feel obligated to tell you about what happened to me. In my experience, she is completely lacking in boundaries and morals and not at all someone I would want representing my organization. I attended some programs at ---- within the first few years of graduating but no longer feel safe doing so knowing of her involvement with you. I regret that that's the case, but it is.

Very Sincerely.