I want to send a note out to all you baristas: when a customer enters Starbucks on New Year’s Eve with a book and an iPad, they are not looking for nightlife downtown. I thought you might want to keep that in mind when you tell them you’re closing early and they ask you if any other Starbucks are open. Of course, you yourself are free to go downtown, with our blessing. Update your website with current opening hours before you head out the door, though.
My other note is to wish everyone a safe New Year’s Eve and a Happy New Year in 2020. I know what you want to know: what do I think is the biggest thing that will be happening in the new year. Wordplay is not really a prognosticator, but we’ll be happy to give it a try if you insist. I have been thinking a lot about sexism and how it cuts both ways. One thing that has struck me lately is how many young men of style in Hollywood and elsewhere have been wearing bright colors and styles normally associated with women and doing it with quite a bit of panache. Wordplay is just a lone Kentucky girl far from any major style centers, but we feel compelled to ask: is this a thing? And if so, why is it a thing?
We do not know, but one reading from a depth perspective that may not be too far off the mark is that these young men are taking on sexism in their own way. It’s usually acceptable for women to adopt menswear styles and for girls to be tomboys, but God help the male who decides to flaunt his inner female, even in the smallest way. I read an article last night with comments from men (I believe it was from a reddit thread) about what they would do “if it weren’t for the patriarchy,” and their ideas were quite interesting. I’m inclined to think the young men challenging these gender norms through fashion are doing something much more substantial than it would seem, and that it’s actually a powerful statement they’re making. They have my respect and admiration.
What would you do it if “weren’t for the patriarchy”? Wordplay would never recommend that you do anything that makes you uncomfortable, but what about something you would love to do but don’t do because you know it makes others uncomfortable? Not talking about breaking laws, but what about unwritten norms?
My wish is that 2020 will not only be the year of feminism but also the year of masculinism. We are all made up of yin and yang, and I believe we’re better people for getting in touch with our undeveloped qualities. May 2020 help us all to be kinder not only to others but also to ourselves.
Update: BuzzFeed article, “16 Things More Men Would Do If It Weren’t for the Patriarchy”
Tuesday, December 31, 2019
Thursday, December 26, 2019
A Holiday Not Particularly Good, But It Had Its Moments
The day you go back to work after Christmas, people will naturally ask if you had a nice holiday. Truth compelled me to tell people today that, no, I didn’t particularly have a good one (although I’m very good at seeing whatever good there is to see, even I can’t make a cashmere glove out of a rotten pumpkin). It started out OK, with egg nog, chocolates, holiday movie sessions, and a brief respite from work. I was cozy enough on Christmas Eve with all the afore-mentioned, but then I decided to go out on Christmas Day to see a movie and have dinner.
I decided, with some trepidation, to go see Little Women on its opening day. This was probably the first “chapter book” I read as a child, but this is the first time I’ve seen a filmed version. A previous production with Susan Sarandon just never pulled me in because none of the well-known actors in the cast corresponded to my idea of the March family and their friends. In this case, I was able to contemplate seeing the film with a reasonable level of equanimity because a number of the cast members were unknown to me. While I thought this film was well-made, and I enjoyed a number of the performances (Meryl Streep as Aunt March and Timothée Chalamet as Laurie were particularly inspired choices), the March girls seemed a little too modern and raucous to be the March girls I remember. I believe that was an intentional choice by director Greta Gerwig, and while I think she’s made a very good film, it wasn’t quite the film I wanted. (Do not, however, let that stop you from seeing it.)
After popcorn and a movie, I went to Denny’s for dinner and was told they’d had a number of workers call in. I have to cut them a little slack, because I think they were being asked to do the impossible by even being open and serving people. My choices on where to have a turkey dinner were limited (it was Denny’s or nothing), so I toughed it out, and while it was not the way I had pictured it (and I burned my mouth by eating food that was simultaneously too hot (in some spots) and too cold (in others), I did get my turkey and dressing, which was my goal.
If you want some short quotables to take with you on sort of a non-starter Christmas (that is not, however, the worst Christmas I ever had), here are my thoughts on the day, summarized.
1. If you don’t have a husband, waking up with a hot water bottle is probably the next best thing, but if I could only get my belongings out of storage, I have a fake lynx coat hot water bottle cover from Restoration Hardware that would have made it a little cozier on Christmas morning and less medicinal-seeming, but OK . . . at least I had a hot water bottle.
2. Is it my imagination, or have I gotten so used to sleeping in my car that a nearly empty hotel is no longer that much better a place to spend a holiday (except for getting to watch TV) than the back seat of my car?
3. The eggnog I got from the store was good, but I suspect they slipped non-fat milk into that carton because it didn’t taste as rich as I was expecting. Look, if I want low-fat, I’ll get it myself, OK?
4. There are certain holiday movies that, once you’ve seen them, you don’t really feel the need for repeat viewings. I watched Elf for the first time this year, and while it’s really pretty goofy, at least I had never seen it before, and somehow Will Ferrell is able to pull it off.
5. If you find yourself watching Jurassic Park on Christmas Eve, that’s probably a sign. Not a good sign, but a sign. Switch the channel.
6. Hotels shouldn’t list movies on their channel guide if you are unable to watch them. This was the first time I became aware that not all of the movies listed on the in-hotel viewing guide are actually something you can view. I’m talking about Oscar-nominated (excuse me, Oscar-winning, what was I thinking?) films, not something you need parental permission to see (though I’m past the age for parental permission in any case).
7. If you wake up to “Do You Hear What I Hear?” being played at a very high volume in the middle of the night, go back to sleep. This is probably not anything you want to investigate in person.
8. You will find that if you have a Christmas Day like I had, you will have had your fill of Christmas by the time you get back to your hotel. Travel Channel content on people who thought they were possessed by demons and others who had spooky encounters in the mountains around Asheville, North Carolina, with what may or may not have been a strange combination of scary people and weird special effects meant to make these unfortunates question their sanity will, in this case, begin to seem like something you might actually learn from, as unlikely as it may seem. Ditto, programming on Bigfoot and the Alaskan wilderness.
In conclusion, Happy St. Stephen’s Day, and Wordplay will still be here this time next week, if Grandma doesn’t get run over by a reindeer.
I decided, with some trepidation, to go see Little Women on its opening day. This was probably the first “chapter book” I read as a child, but this is the first time I’ve seen a filmed version. A previous production with Susan Sarandon just never pulled me in because none of the well-known actors in the cast corresponded to my idea of the March family and their friends. In this case, I was able to contemplate seeing the film with a reasonable level of equanimity because a number of the cast members were unknown to me. While I thought this film was well-made, and I enjoyed a number of the performances (Meryl Streep as Aunt March and Timothée Chalamet as Laurie were particularly inspired choices), the March girls seemed a little too modern and raucous to be the March girls I remember. I believe that was an intentional choice by director Greta Gerwig, and while I think she’s made a very good film, it wasn’t quite the film I wanted. (Do not, however, let that stop you from seeing it.)
After popcorn and a movie, I went to Denny’s for dinner and was told they’d had a number of workers call in. I have to cut them a little slack, because I think they were being asked to do the impossible by even being open and serving people. My choices on where to have a turkey dinner were limited (it was Denny’s or nothing), so I toughed it out, and while it was not the way I had pictured it (and I burned my mouth by eating food that was simultaneously too hot (in some spots) and too cold (in others), I did get my turkey and dressing, which was my goal.
If you want some short quotables to take with you on sort of a non-starter Christmas (that is not, however, the worst Christmas I ever had), here are my thoughts on the day, summarized.
1. If you don’t have a husband, waking up with a hot water bottle is probably the next best thing, but if I could only get my belongings out of storage, I have a fake lynx coat hot water bottle cover from Restoration Hardware that would have made it a little cozier on Christmas morning and less medicinal-seeming, but OK . . . at least I had a hot water bottle.
2. Is it my imagination, or have I gotten so used to sleeping in my car that a nearly empty hotel is no longer that much better a place to spend a holiday (except for getting to watch TV) than the back seat of my car?
3. The eggnog I got from the store was good, but I suspect they slipped non-fat milk into that carton because it didn’t taste as rich as I was expecting. Look, if I want low-fat, I’ll get it myself, OK?
4. There are certain holiday movies that, once you’ve seen them, you don’t really feel the need for repeat viewings. I watched Elf for the first time this year, and while it’s really pretty goofy, at least I had never seen it before, and somehow Will Ferrell is able to pull it off.
5. If you find yourself watching Jurassic Park on Christmas Eve, that’s probably a sign. Not a good sign, but a sign. Switch the channel.
6. Hotels shouldn’t list movies on their channel guide if you are unable to watch them. This was the first time I became aware that not all of the movies listed on the in-hotel viewing guide are actually something you can view. I’m talking about Oscar-nominated (excuse me, Oscar-winning, what was I thinking?) films, not something you need parental permission to see (though I’m past the age for parental permission in any case).
7. If you wake up to “Do You Hear What I Hear?” being played at a very high volume in the middle of the night, go back to sleep. This is probably not anything you want to investigate in person.
8. You will find that if you have a Christmas Day like I had, you will have had your fill of Christmas by the time you get back to your hotel. Travel Channel content on people who thought they were possessed by demons and others who had spooky encounters in the mountains around Asheville, North Carolina, with what may or may not have been a strange combination of scary people and weird special effects meant to make these unfortunates question their sanity will, in this case, begin to seem like something you might actually learn from, as unlikely as it may seem. Ditto, programming on Bigfoot and the Alaskan wilderness.
In conclusion, Happy St. Stephen’s Day, and Wordplay will still be here this time next week, if Grandma doesn’t get run over by a reindeer.
Thursday, December 19, 2019
That’s the Spirit!
How do I love thee, Christmas? Let me count down my favorite things about Christmas 2019.
1. Putting a rude customer in their place by absolutely killing them with politeness. You know that you are totally within the bounds of the holiday spirit because you are building their character even as they attempt to drag you down into the mud where they currently dwell. Perhaps they’ll thank you for it someday?
2. Looking at pictures of anything related to eggnog—actual eggnog, eggnog cake, eggnog cookies, eggnog pie, etc. Eggnog is the banana pudding of Christmas: you never see a bad picture of it.
3. Sending just the right card to family and friends and enjoying the thought of them knowing that you are thinking of them (for real). Putting on the stamps is also really fun, for some reason.
4. Going into Starbucks, because Starbucks always looks festive around the holidays and has very evocative holiday beverage names. This has not always been an unalloyed pleasure in the past, but they are doing better this year.
5. Going into the mall at off-peak hours just to enjoy the window displays and general holiday splendor.
6. Knowing that, regardless of what happens in the future, you will doubtless never, for the rest of your life, lose the attitude of superiority that comes with knowing you survived living in your car for a year and a half, including at Christmastime. You try to picture specific individuals you know doing it and nearly collapse with laughter.
7. Hearing either of these two songs come on the radio: “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” or “Last Christmas”—or any holiday song sung with true elan.
8. Looking at presents under a tree, even if only in your mind.
9. Seeing an arched doorway outlined with a string of blue lights and imagining yourself saying, “Mellon.”
10. Glowering at the person attending the Salvation Army kettle in front of the grocery store.
11. Looking forward to Christmas dinner.
12. Watching Christmas movies while tucked into bed (special treat).
13. Imagining the smell of a real Christmas tree in whatever future home you will someday have.
14. Having visions of sugar plums. (Just what is a sugar plum, anyway? Possibly there is some room for interpretation on this, but you know it has to be something good. It’s one of those poetic phrases like “cloth of gold” that instantly evoke enchantment.)
15. Hearing the song “Do You Hear What I Hear?” and wondering if in fact the mighty king, in his palace warm, does know what you know—which is in no way a problem and entirely a good thing if he does. Doubters.
16. Reminding yourself that there are always those less fortunate than you and thinking about what you would do to help them in some future life should you ever be able to do so.
1. Putting a rude customer in their place by absolutely killing them with politeness. You know that you are totally within the bounds of the holiday spirit because you are building their character even as they attempt to drag you down into the mud where they currently dwell. Perhaps they’ll thank you for it someday?
2. Looking at pictures of anything related to eggnog—actual eggnog, eggnog cake, eggnog cookies, eggnog pie, etc. Eggnog is the banana pudding of Christmas: you never see a bad picture of it.
3. Sending just the right card to family and friends and enjoying the thought of them knowing that you are thinking of them (for real). Putting on the stamps is also really fun, for some reason.
4. Going into Starbucks, because Starbucks always looks festive around the holidays and has very evocative holiday beverage names. This has not always been an unalloyed pleasure in the past, but they are doing better this year.
5. Going into the mall at off-peak hours just to enjoy the window displays and general holiday splendor.
6. Knowing that, regardless of what happens in the future, you will doubtless never, for the rest of your life, lose the attitude of superiority that comes with knowing you survived living in your car for a year and a half, including at Christmastime. You try to picture specific individuals you know doing it and nearly collapse with laughter.
7. Hearing either of these two songs come on the radio: “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” or “Last Christmas”—or any holiday song sung with true elan.
8. Looking at presents under a tree, even if only in your mind.
9. Seeing an arched doorway outlined with a string of blue lights and imagining yourself saying, “Mellon.”
10. Glowering at the person attending the Salvation Army kettle in front of the grocery store.
11. Looking forward to Christmas dinner.
12. Watching Christmas movies while tucked into bed (special treat).
13. Imagining the smell of a real Christmas tree in whatever future home you will someday have.
14. Having visions of sugar plums. (Just what is a sugar plum, anyway? Possibly there is some room for interpretation on this, but you know it has to be something good. It’s one of those poetic phrases like “cloth of gold” that instantly evoke enchantment.)
15. Hearing the song “Do You Hear What I Hear?” and wondering if in fact the mighty king, in his palace warm, does know what you know—which is in no way a problem and entirely a good thing if he does. Doubters.
16. Reminding yourself that there are always those less fortunate than you and thinking about what you would do to help them in some future life should you ever be able to do so.
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